When my son protested by Joanne Charron

by Joanne Charron

The expanding focus of Inspirations to include mental health topics got me thinking about my own experiences with my son and what I have observed within our population – and there are many. 

Whether it be behavioural, questioning your own mortality, trauma or anxiety, the list goes on. There is also the lack of support and education for our community on how to deal with and offer services to our population given all the barriers, one being communication, if they are non-verbal. Trying to find services is an exercise in futility and leaves us as parents to come up with ways to support our children through their difficulties. This must change but as parents we cannot wait. I have many stories I can share from my own experiences, but I can only pick one for this article.

All parents must deal with certain issues regardless of a disability or not. Children have limited capacity to express themselves. It’s even harder when they are non-verbal, so they usually express themselves through their behaviour. Sometimes when we think we are helping them we are actually hurting them, and all they really want is connection. This was a lesson I learnt from my son and the story I wish to share: “When my son protested.”

My son who is heavily handicapped and non-verbal is my first child. After giving birth to my third, I was worried and felt bad that I was not giving him enough time and that I could no longer give him my 100-percent attention, so I got help to care for him. Things were okay in the beginning, but then the protests began. He became agitated when he came home from school. Then it started that he didn’t want to eat. I was starting to wonder what was going on. Then, he started wanting to go to bed as soon as he came home. I was trying to figure all this out and was at a total loss because he could not tell me what was going on. 

I knew this could not go on any longer and that I had to do something drastic and soon because this was no way to live. He was obviously suffering. So, I stopped all my help from coming to the house – and then he went back to himself. I came to realize that I guess he felt that I was pawning him off on other people. I realized that he did not want all of my attention, that he just wanted to be around 100 percent of the time and be a part of everything going on in the house even if it meant waiting his turn. He is a selfless and proud older brother, and he wanted to perform his role! If he had not protested, I would not have known, and I thank him for this lesson. 

Joanne Charron is the president of The C.A.R.E. Centre and special advisor to Inspirations. Contact her at charronjoanne@gmail.com.