Awesome moms | Support group a blessing to moms

by Lorri Benedik

Liz Blair is mom to Bruce, 23, a young adult with autism spectrum disorder, and Emma, 25. From the time he was small, Blair has accompanied her son to activities designed for kids with special needs. She’d sit on the sidelines watching his tennis lessons, her head swiveling left to right. During swimming classes her eyes followed Bruce doing laps in the pool. There were always other parents doing the same.

In 2015 a lightbulb flickered on. “It was the last tennis session of the season, and one mom had brought a box of cookies for all of us to share,” said Blair. “We got to talking, and someone suggested we meet for coffee.” The women exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. When tennis lessons started up again, they arranged for a few of them to go for a walk while one stayed behind to ensure the kids were alright. If a child was struggling, the on-duty mom would send a text message, and the walkers would return.

A bond developed between the women, and they began meeting for dinner every couple of months. Over time, more moms were invited to join. “It was great to have friends who understood the joys and challenges of parenting children like ours,” said Blair. “We got to know each other’s kids too and would celebrate their achievements and birthdays.”

New Year’s Eve get-togethers became a yearly ritual for the mothers, along with their kids and other family members. “Staying up until midnight was not something our children cared to do,” Blair said. “We would meet at a local restaurant, for an early dinner, enjoy good food in a festive atmosphere and everyone was home by 10 p.m.”

When Covid-19 hit the women adapted to the new reality. They formed a Facebook Messenger group called the “Super Special Moms” and organized regular video chats.

 “One of the best things about the mom group is how we share our experience and resources,” Blair said. “We learn so much from each other.” When the first of their kids turned 18 the others leaned in and took note of precious info about social services and government subsidies. They were blown away to learn that some banks offer service charge exemptions to special needs adults.

The support did not end with their kids. When one of the moms’ close family members was in a car accident, the group banded together to “fill her freezer” with casseroles and spaghetti sauce.

“What I think is most special about the group is how we focus on the positives and rejoice in our children’s successes,” Blair said. “We all shed tears of joy when one of our kids got into a college program and another got his first part-time job.”

Blair describes the mom group as “a lifesaver” and urges others to discard shyness and say hi to someone sitting close by at an activity. One never knows where it may lead.